Thursday, December 15, 2011

Back to Earth

   I suppose the fact that I am once again finding time to sit and write here means life is returning to normal, at least I am counting on this state of normalcy for the next 30 minutes or so.
   As previously mentioned in my last post I found myself pregnant for the 4th time and then fell off the face of the earth for almost a year, which pretty much sums up my pregnancy. Looking back I really wish I could have (fallen of the earth). Instead I found myself unable to get off the couch for at least a year. People tell me it was about three months, but I'm pretty sure it was longer. I can look back now and joke about it but at the time it was completely serious and boring and uneventful. I really could not think of anyway to write anything worth reading about feeling sick all day every day, all night every night, all meals every meal, all the time, for ever and ever and ever that is pretty much how those 3 months felt to me.
   Luckily I have the, The, THE most amazing Mother so I was able to literally lie on her couch for three months while she looked after me and the 3 boys. I really did try to be grateful when she cooked such healthy good food though I could only eat about 7 bites of it.
   I completed way too many knitting projects to the point where I was sure knitting around and around on my circular needles was making me ill from feeling dizzy which was a refreshing different kind of sick feeling.  Did I mention I had morning sickness? And afternoon and evening and night sickness and if I did anything and I mean ANYTHING like walking more than about 20 steps per day or standing or sitting in an upright position for more than 20 minutes per day made me violently sick for the next 24 hours or so.
Yes it was a long long long 9 months and looking back I can say I learned some good lessons from it though why I had to learn them in such a stinkin hard way is beyond me.
  I learned that it truly is better to give than to receive because when you are receiving it is because you are completely unable to do anything for yourself which is a humbling place to be in especially when you really do want to look after your family and your three little boys but instead you can barley sit next to them because everything smells so bad, even freshly washed little boys and especially unwashed little boys.
   I learned how to knit lots of stuff.
   I learned that Nate is right we should win the lottery so he doesn't have to go to work ever again then he could have stayed home with me and looked after me though he would have had to learn how to cook- a lot.
   I learned to gracefully accept help and I learned what people truly mean when they say they can't thank you enough.
   I learned to find peace which I realized I had never found before which is a quality I cherish and don't really know how I coped before I found it.
   I learned that I am completely absolutely never ever ever getting pregnant again.