Ethan

   I had the car that day. It was a sunny day and I was feeling restless and wanted to go somewhere. I didn't know where I was going to go as I had nothing to do so I drove down the road towards the ocean. I stopped at a before unnoticed bench and sat and watched the water and the white sails on the beautiful sunny mirror of an ocean. I enjoyed those minutes just me by myself and I am thankful for them as that would be the last time in my life that my heart was all mine. Two hours later my water had broken and I was on my way to becoming a Mother.
   I picked Nathan up from work. He drove home because I would rather he did and my maternity pants were feeling much smaller than normal. I got home and felt like I was peeing as soon as I got out of the car. I went into the bathroom and the water started flowing down my legs. Not a giant splash or gush of water like the movies would have you think. I wasn't sure what was going on because it was two weeks before my due date and I hadn't even thought of the possibility of an early labor.
Nathan and I went to the midwife so she could take a sample or swab or something incase I didn't go into labor in the next 24 hours.
   My Mom came and I went to bed, I didn't sleep well but better than I have ever since then. Everything I wore felt too tight around my stomach, I had to get up to go pee a lot. I woke up in the morning with my stomach feeling tight. I did not expect contractions to feel like wearing a belt across your middle and cinching it up but that is what it felt like. After my traditional morning sickness which had been going on for seven and a half months my Mom got me to eat something and then said something crazy along the lines of going for a walk to strengthen up those contractions. Or in other words tighten that belt another few holes. The walk was effective up a hill and down a hill and now I felt how I thought I would feel in labor. I remember having to lean on Nathan when the contractions came and my Mom saying that that was good and that we could go home now.
   My Mom and Nathan were doing things like timing contractions and such. I was in my own little world trying to come to grips with this getting stronger and stronger. They asked me if I thought they should call the midwife. I dont' know about other people who are in labor but when I am in labor my mind does not compute things like when should we call the midwife, it's like it has to go through a translator in my brain and then back through one to get me to speak. I remember sitting there thinking why on earth are you asking me this? I don't care at all who you call.
My Mom called the midwife Leslie. I am pretty sure Nathan was with me the whole time but I'm not sure I honestly don't remember like I said my own little word of feeling.
Leslie arrived, everyone talked. I was on the bed, most defiantly not in bed. People came in to ask if I needed to pee or eat or drink, I thought what? There was nothing in the world but this and this moment and then there was the next moment and that is all I was focusing on.
Leslie came in when it was time to push. I knew it because all of a sudden the world existed again, It did not take all my mental power to translate what someone said I was alert and all of a sudden right there in the moment in an entirely different way. Leslie told me that when that old devil woman in my head yells at me me to finish this and push that baby out NOW!  Not to listen. To breathe and not push, my body would push for me my mind had to relax and breathe.
Ethan was born with me on my hands and knees five hours from the start of my labor or in other words once we got home from our walk.
He was born 14 days before his due date and was covered in vernix
He weighed 6 lb 7 oz.
He was perfect and tiny

In all my reading while I was pregnant I had read and read about labor and birth stories and information. I had a very good picture in my mind of what labor was but I hadn't thought about the placenta and that being an issue but it was. I had no idea how to deliver it and it didn't just fall out like I had thought. They feed me chocolate, put me in the shower, put me on the toilet. In my mind I was done, the baby was born. Leslie said I had to get the placenta out or I would have to have a shot to get it out. Someone needed to tell me I needed to push it out- you know with my mind and body. As my  body was "done" now was the time to push but I didn't know that. In the end Leslie had to kind of reach in and pull it out and it was totally unattached and just sitting there but I didn't know how to get it out. It is by far the worst sensation with regards to labor and delivery it feels like your insides are falling out and they kind of are, very dead and heavy.
I have never been attached to my placenta, it is an amazing life giving part of pregnancy but once it is no longer needed it just looks so completely dead to me.

I had no tearing
Leslie gave me some Arnica to take for bruising
Ethan was not a strong nurser to start off as he was so early we had to wake him up sometimes to eat and it took a while to get him interested and alert enough to suck but he caught on quickly. And it was very normal for me so we didn't have any problems.